I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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