I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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