I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize