R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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