You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
17 year olds will be the death of me.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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