she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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