isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
