just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
