i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
