Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
