Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
