y did u give ur computer a hand job?
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
