It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
