I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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