I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
