you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
