I can't breathe out the right side of my face
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
