singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
