we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
