I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
