I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
