Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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