it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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