it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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