He is an equal opportunity slut.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
