Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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