We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
