Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
i've created a new STD.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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