we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
