i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
