Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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