He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
