do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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