I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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