so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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