how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
he fucked my hip out of place.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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