the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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