the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
