I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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