I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
