Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
