"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
That accounts for only three of the penises
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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