More tranny stories later!
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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