I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
