There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
