If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
