They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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