I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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