Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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