I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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