Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
