i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
