Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
These tits shall not be calmed
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
