Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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