fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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