Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
