Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
